You Need To Hear a Lot of “No’s” To Hear Just One Yes
In a previous post, I cited a NAR statistic which says 87% of people entering the real estate industry will fail and leave the industry within 5 years. This is an embarrassing stat, but one I have seen with my own two eyes over the years. Real estate agents (and anyone in a lead generation industry) fail for 1 of several reasons, but all of those reasons come down to one word… “NO”.
We hate to hear that word. It can freeze people into inactivity and inactivity is the fastest way out of the business. Here is a short list of all of the excuses… err… reasons I have been given to not make phone calls…
- I don’t know what to say
- I don’t have time
- I don’t want to bother people
- I don’t want to hear the word no
- People don’t answer their phones
- I’d rather text
- And my all-time favorite…
- I don’t want to seem like a beggar (Honest, I was given this excuse more than once… usually in luxury markets)
The list goes on, but you get the idea I’m sure. Deep down, those excuses are all rooted in fear… Fear of the word “no”.
You Need to “Lose” Some Battles To Win the War
I don’t know a single person who likes to be rejected, so the fear of rejection makes sense to me. However, using that fear to almost certainly fail (the ultimate rejection) makes no sense. What is worse? Someone saying “No, sorry I don’t know anyone who is looking to buy or sell real estate right now.” or not ever making the call and facing potential financial ruin because you couldn’t find any clients and had to leave the business?
If someone says no to your question, you are simply one “no” closer to a “yes”, but if you don’t ever make the calls and avoid all prospecting because of your fear of the word “no”, you are almost certain to fail and will have to leave the industry. How can that be less scary than simply finding out someone in your sphere doesn’t know anyone who is looking to buy or sell a home right now?
Real Estate Is a Low Percentage Industry
I say this all the time. If you are looking for an industry that has a high rate of people saying “yes” then you picked the wrong industry. Real Estate, and almost all lead generation activities have a very low “yes” rate. This means you have to keep asking the same question over and over, hear a huge dose of “no” and eventually get 1 yes. You have to lose a whole bunch of little battles in order to get the one big win you need to find success in this industry. Don’t look at “no” as a bad thing. You need to hear no in order to win!
If you speak to a Chess Master or a Military Strategist, they would have no problem with the concept above. They have been taught that sometimes you have to take small losses to get the ultimate victory. Chess players have to sacrifice pieces all the time in order to get other pieces in position to trap the King. Military commanders have to retreat or give some ground in one area to open up the defenses of the opponents in others. These people all understand that it’s rare to fight an entire battle without having to give any ground. My goal with this post is to make real estate agents, lenders, and all lead generations understand the same thing!
Hearing “No” is necessary to get the ultimate win… hearing “yes”!
Did You Lose When You Hear “No”?
Did you happen to notice I put quotes around the word “lose” in the headline about winning the war? If you did, you may have wondered why. I used quotes around “lose” in that headline because it isn’t really losing! It just feels like losing. We hear “no” and we think we lost. If we hear no a whole bunch of times we decide we’re no good at this and we quit the activity so we don’t have to hear “no” anymore. We don’t even realize that when we quit those powerful prospecting activities we are starting the clock on the end of our lead generation career. If we don’t prospect, we don’t grow. If we don’t hear “no” enough, we don’t hear “yes” enough to survive. It’s really just that simple.
The chess player celebrates losing pieces because it means they got their opponent to make the move they wanted them to make. The plan is working, they are one move closer to springing their trap and winning the game! If we can get real estate agents and lead generators to think the same way, we will see that 87% failure rate drop significantly. Every “no” brings you one step closer to a yes. Why? Because…
Real Estate Is a Numbers Game
When I was taking classes to get my real estate license, someone asked the instructor how he found clients when he was brand new. His answer was simple. “I picked up the phone book and then started dialing. If someone answered, I asked if they or anyone they knew needed a Realtor® and if they said no I said OK and hung up. Then I dialed the next one and did it over and over again until someone said yes.” The person who asked the question looked shocked and asked if that really worked. He looked incredulously at her and said “Of course it works. Don’t you think that if you ask enough people a question you will eventually get a yes? It’s just a numbers game. Don’t make it harder than it needs to be.”
He made it so simple. He made me realize that if I am willing to hear “no”, I will always be able to find a client… eventually. To me, this is the basics of lead generation. We can do the more fancy stuff after we get this through our thick skulls 🙂 My instructor reminded me of something I learned long long before I got into real estate.
I learned how powerful hearing “no” was even before I became a lead generator. When I was young (well, you know… younger than I am now!) I was a manager of a convenience store. I ordered a box of Snickers, or so I thought. Turns out I ordered a case of boxes of Snickers and could not return them. I found myself with 24 boxes of 36 Snickers bars and needed to sell them. Thankfully I had a pretty understanding District Manager who understood that stuff happens, and he asked me what I was going to do with all of those Snickers bars. I told himI had a plan. I was going to keep a box of Snickers on the counter beside the register and ask everyone if they wanted to buy a Snickers bar. He laughed at me and said “good luck with that.” Those Snickers bars were gone in under 2 months! We sold a box of Snickers every two or three days until they were all gone! That’s the Power of “No”. Ask the question, hear no over and over and then you get a yes and a win. My District Manager was telling the story to some executives, who found it very interesting and after confirming how well it worked they introduced a new rule requiring all stores to have an “impulse item” at their registers at all times. All of the cashiers had to ask if each customer if they wanted to buy it, and they had to hear “no” over and over again.
Do You Want Fries With That?
Here’s one more example of the power of hearing no.
Why do you think the server at McDonald’s always asks if you want fries with that? I used to get that question when I was at a drive-thru and thought to myself “That was a stupid question. If I wanted fries, I would have asked for fries.” However, every now and then it was the mere suggestion made me say “yes” and I ordered the fries. It works! Accept it and embrace the numbers game. If it didn’t work, there’s no way you’d still be hearing “do you want fries with that”
Is Hearing “No” a Bad Thing?
I’m going to give you a scenario and then ask you a question. I’d like you to really think through the scenario and the question that follows because I believe it makes a strong point about “no” being a pretty innocent word. OK, here we go…
Here is the scenario.
You find yourself vacationing in Italy. You go into a store and are checking out the latest in Italian fashion and you reach into your pocket for your phone when you realize it’s gone! After a while, you need to get some help, but you don’t speak Italian. Your only hope now is to ask people if they speak English. You walk up to the first person you see and ask “Excuse me, do you speak English?” The person shakes their head “no” and walks away.
Here is the question.
When that person shook her head and said “no” to you, did you feel bad about it? Was it as bad as when you ask a friend if they know anyone who is looking to buy or sell a home and they say “no”?
If you answered like most people I present this scenario to, the answer is “no”…
Why not? You got the exact same end result… Someone told you “no” and “no” is the word that freezes us into submission and causes 87% of us to leave the industry.
What’s the difference? The answer I always get is “It’s not the same thing! I wouldn’t expect a local in Italy to speak English” or “It’s not the same thing! I had to ask that question in order to survive!” I usually smile and respond with a knowing grin. “It’s exactly the same thing. You also don’t expect your friends to always know someone who is looking to buy or sell real estate either”. Or… “It’s exactly the same thing. You also need to make these calls in order to survive finacially to feed your family.”
Ask Yourself One Question.. “Who Cares?”
That last scenario is designed to make you realize that hearing “no” is just fine because it’s not something that you can control! You can’t make a person in Italy speak English anymore than you can make one of your friends know someone who needs a real estate agent at the time you’re asking. You’re just asking. The answer isn’t important! Just asking the question is the important part.
How many times has someone asked you a question that you couldn’t help them with? Has anyone ever asked if you know where one of your friends is, and you don’t know so you say “no”? How many times has someone asked if you want to go out tonight and you said “no” because you had other plans? It’s nothing personal. You really don’t know where your friend is! You really can’t go out tonight! Who cares???? Just take the “no” and move on! You’re one step closer to a yes!
Look, I understand that simply reading this post isn’t going to make you fearless of the word no, but try to remember the points I illustrate in this post and then go and make your calls like your finanical life depends on it!
- Real Estate is a numbers game. The more you hear no, the sooner you will hear yes!
- You must lose some small battles (hear “no”) to win the war (hear “yes”)
- Hearing “no” isn’t losing anyway! It’s a win because you are one “no” closer to a “yes”
- Who cares? You can’t control the answer, so don’t take it personal. You can’t make someone know a person who needs your services
